


Emotional Motion Sickness

by valkyriereverie



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Drabble, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Fluff, Future Fic, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Short One Shot, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyriereverie/pseuds/valkyriereverie
Summary: Misaki experiences a pretty bad dream.
Relationships: Matsubara Kanon/Okusawa Misaki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23
Collections: Transdori Week 2020





	Emotional Motion Sickness

**Author's Note:**

> Throwing my hat in for Transdori Week. Not following any prompts because my brain is just not up for it right now >_<
> 
> Content warning for: Anxiety attack and dysphoria

The sound of thunder pierced Misaki’s ears, and her eyes shot open. The rain pelted against her apartment window, in reality they were light taps yet in her mind they sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Where had she just been again? Some time in the past, a place she had left a long time ago, a uniform she hadn’t worn since forever and a name she no longer used. Misaki tried to breathe, counting slowly in her head. She tried to look around for anything that would anchor her to reality. Her mattress, her bedsheets, her blanket, the pill bottles on her bedside counter, and the girl sleeping soundly by her side. Misaki was fine, she was safe. Her name was Misaki, that had been her name for nearly half a decade now. Everyone who knew that loved and accepted her, and everyone who didn’t… she couldn’t bother to remember them right now. She was fine, completely fine. Her beloved Kanon was right beside her, there was nothing to worry about. It was just a bad dream.

But that didn’t stop Misaki from hyperventilating, she decided to get up and try to hydrate. She filled up her glass, then one gulp, two gulps, three gulps. Inhale, exhale, Misaki tried to tell herself. She splashed some of the still running water on her face, it did help, if only just a bit.

Misaki looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was reaching her shoulder blades now. Even the little ones around her upper lip didn’t bother her that much anymore. It’s funny the amount of change some pills could bring over the course of just a couple years. Her heart began to calm down.

But would that be enough? Could it ever be enough? Will the world ever see her the way she had always seen herself? How long until they all cast her out like some monster? Did she even deserve to feel at ease right now?

As Misaki sat back down on her bed, Kanon suddenly whispered.

“Anything alright?”

All that rustling must’ve woken her up. The last thing she wanted right now was to worry her girlfriend too.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just a bit parched is all.”

“Bad dream again?”

Bullseye. Even before they started dating, Kanon could always see through Misaki. She just nodded in response.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Misaki shook her head. If she did, they’d be up the whole night, and Kanon needed sleep. God knows she deserved it.

“That’s ok.” Kanon took Misaki’s hand into hers. “I’m here now.”

“I’m here now…” Kanon repeated.

Misaki took in everything her hand felt. The callouses from Kanon’s drumming days, how Misaki’s hands were just a bit larger than hers, a fact that she never liked to think about. But right now, her hands were much much larger than it seemed, it felt like the blanket that they were both supposed to be under right now. It was so soothing, way more effective than any cup of chamomile tea.

Misaki lied back down, and the nightmare that woke her up seemed to retreat itself back to the corner of her mind. She would have to face them again one day, but right now she was alright, because she had Kanon, and the people that she knew would never let her go. Her old bandmates, the kindred spirits she met along the way, they would all be there when she inevitably had to confront that darkness again. She was safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Huuuuge shoutout to [silversilky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversilky/pseuds/silversilky/works) for betareading this drabble! Please check out her transdori entry [Just One Minute More](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582965) and her excellent series [Slow Motion Replay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635669) featuring Trans!Maya.
> 
> Also the title is inspired by Phoebe Bridgers' [Motion Sickness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sfYpolGCu8)


End file.
